Switching Bodies Is So 2013
by DoctorFitzy
Summary: If you switched bodies with your best friend, how would you react? The famous duo FitzSimmons makes another debut this time by inventing a machine that allows the switching of bodies. How will they try to hide this from Ward and the rest of the suspicious team? Who's going to take the blame for this catastrophe as FitzSimmons tries to adjust to their "new" bodies?


Switching Bodies is So 2013

**Featuring yours truly, FitzSimmons!**

**A/N: **I know it seems like I'm spamming you guys with a new fic everyday, but I'll be pretty inactive once the weekdays comes around again. This is a short drabble of FitzSimmons attempting to test out their crazy invention. I love this duo so much. Enjoy & thanks for the support like always :)

"Simmons, I need you to hit the green button, then flip the orange lever once I give the signal," Fitz ordered, gesturing a thumbs up before stepping into a large booth. It looked similar to the ones in tanning salons which Simmons couldn't help but silently laugh at the thought of Fitz getting an orange tan.

"I don't know, Fitz. There's a 50/50 chance it may or may not work," Simmons scolded, yanking him back by the shoulder. "I have a right to tell Coulson about this, I thought we weren't going to hide secrets from him anymore. Remember last time? We have to think about the dangers, Fitz."

Fitz glumly sulked after she released him. "Okay, he doesn't need to know that I accidentally scratched Lola a tinsy bit on the side, but that's not the point! It's already enough Coulson thinks that Tahiti's a magical place, we could save ourselves the trouble from explaining to him the _real _truth."

Simmons glared at him. He was _so_ stubborn. Every time she tried to warn him he ignored her and firmly stated that his philosophy was simply, "FOR SCIENCE!" in bold letters he had once made a T-shirt out of. Ridiculous. She didn't understand what exactly went through his mind besides his constant obsession with monkeys and food.And Coulson did _not_ need to know what happened in Tahiti.

"Fine," she mumbled. "If you're going to do it, I'll switch bodies with you." Simmons believed it wouldn't work. The worst that could happen was... well who knew exactly. But the chances of nothing going bad was 90%.

"Well, here goes nothing," Fitz said, giving her the thumbs up through the tiny window.

She pulled the lever and punched the buttons, watching the bar begin to load on the screen.

"Well, this is my cue," Simmons said, her heart beating like crazy. She opened the door and stepped inside, waiting for the transformation to begin.

Then she blacked out.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - –

"Simmons," Fitz said, his hand contacting with Simmon's face into a hard slap.

Simmons bolted up and touched her check, wincing, then suddenly confused by the missing space where her hair was.

"What the.. oh my bloody monkeys," Fitz gasped, struggling to form the words. "It worked. What the hell, it worked! It wasn't a dream! This damn machine worked! I'm inside a woman's body! Wait a second, I'M INSIDE A WOMAN'S BODY."

"In case you didn't notice, genius, but you're in _my_ body!" Simmons shrieked, trying to figure out that the machines had actually worked. _Oh, this was so weird and awkward being in a man's body_, she thought, turning red again.

"This is the maddest crap I've ever experienced in my whole life," Fitz' gushed, running his hands through Simmon's hair. "This experiment, we could win awards with this! Science! The future! Do you know what that means, Simmons?" He laughed, Simmon's voice ringing in the air like bells on a summer's evening. "Oh, Stark is going to be_ so_ jealous. I can't wait to see the look on his face when I tell him!"

"I never thought we'd ever actually be able to do it but God Fitz, you nearly scared me to death you bloody genius," she said, glaring at him. "I have every right to report this to S.H.I.E.L.D! Coulson needs to know this. This is the biggest thing since... since the Tesseract and the Battle of New York!"

Fitz laughed again, the color returning back to Simmon's checks. "Oh man, this is going to change science forever! But jeez, your boobs are always getting in my way when I-"

"Excuse me?" Simmons roared. "You stay away from my body parts! You think it's nice being inside a man's body? And gross Fitz, you're sweating like crazy."

Fitz was about to punch Jemma in the shoulder when Ward knocked on the door, scaring both of them.

"Is everything all right, FitzSimmons?" Ward interrupted, clearing his throat in the midst of their conversation. "I hope I wasn't ruining your little celebration. It looked like you two were fighting."

Fitz's face dropped immediately, a look of fear and shame sliding in. "Aw, c'mon now Ward. We were just finishing calibrating the modules for uh this project. You know, stuff that your ordinary mortal brain wouldn't understand," he smirked, then grunted, trying to stand upright on the day that Simmons actually bothered to wear heels

Immediately, Ward uncrossed his hands and his eyebrows raised 2 inches higher than before. "Wait, a second. Did Simmons just try to burn, me?" He echoed, in complete disbelief that a bubbly science geek like her would attempt to _burn_ a level 7 agent? "I thought only Fitz did that."

Not likely.

"Simmons!" Simmons barked, trying to get Fitz's attention. She needed to keep Ward from founding out... their whole project would be discovered and Coulson would totally do more than just get rid of their fish tank. They'd be fired. Or worse.

She winced in her mind and was going to regret this her whole life. She did the only Fitz impulse she could think of at the moment. She was going to slap his butt. Ward's butt. Bottom was more appropriate.

Despite his quick reflexes, he didn't notice the quick butt slap she had just performed in which she made Fitz the most reddest tomato faced person on the Bus.

"Catch me if you can you level 7 idiot who didn't know Coulson was actually alive!" Simmons screamed, making Fitz look like a complete idiot.

For the love of God, she muttered. I am going to kill Fitz. I am going to find his stuffed monkey and rip its'-

"HEY!" Ward said angrily, chasing after a panicked looking Fitz down the hall.

"What is all this racket?" Melinda buzzed through the intercom, sounding suspicious. "Do I need to come down there and check on you kids? Ward! Handle this!"

"Handle what?" Skye said coming in the moment Melinda buzzed in, biting an apple with one glance at the booths. "I'm not even gonna ask, this Star Wars junk can wait."

"Of course," Fitz said, a little bit too quickly. _Smile_. _Remember to smile_, he thought. _Simmons_ _is a bright and bubbly and perky and wonderful-_

"Hey can I borrow some pads Simmons?" Skye munched, casually leaning against the counter.

Oh, fuck me, Fitz muttered, now his turn, a shade of bright fire engine red.

"I uh.. I uh left them in my bunk," he smiled, a little bit too wide. "Stay here, no, actually go find Coulson! I'll go get them and leave them on your shelf."

"Great," Skye said, waving Fitz off.

"Yup, wonderful!" Fitz exclaimed, squeaking loudly when he ran down the hall only to be greeted by a smiling Coulson.

"Simmons," he greeted, holding a S.H.I.E.L.D folder to his chest.

"Agent Coulson," he replied. _Smile_, he hissed in his head.

"Can anyone explain to me what's going on here?" Melinda interrupted, her hands on her hips.

_Oh, she was pissed, definitely pissed. Melinda never put the Bus on autopilot unless she was really pissed. Kudos to her for knowing something was up_, Fitz thought.

"Yeah," Ward added, breathlessly with sweat stains showing up under his arms. I literally felt like I was running a mile trying to catch up to this idiot," he angrily said, shoving a scared looking Fitz in the middle. Simmons cowered at Ward's height then straightened up, clearing her throat while she adjusted Fitz' tie.

"That was payback for the other time you smacked me," Simmons declared.

"I thought we went over this, no horse play. What are you guys thinking, on a flying plane? Really?" Melinda sighed, walking back to the pilot seat.

Coulson chuckled. "I have work to do, I'll be upstairs. You guys, on the other hand, work this out."

"_I _thought we had already made up and decided not to do this butt slapping business," Ward huffed. "Remember? We shook hands and did the handshake I taught you."

"The handshake?" Simmons squeaked, touching the back of her neck like Fitz would do.

"Yeah," Fitz said slowly. "Do the handshake. You know, the one you showed me."

Simmons glared at Fitz, her fist clenching up. "You know, Ward, I've had a long night and I really don't think I remember-"

The sound of a crunchy apple turned the fighting to silence. Skye stepped into their circle, her apple nearly finished. "Yeah, that's not Fitz and Simmons. They switched bodies," she grinned, looking at the both of them like murderers. Simmons mouth gaped open while Fitz looked down completely embarassed.

"I just wanted to let everyone know I was never apart of this," Fitz began, speaking from Simmon's body. "Simmons made me do it," he accused, pointing a manicured finger at Simmons.

"I knew it!" Ward shouted, looking more angry than he should. "Fitz never runs that fast."

"Hey!"

"I'm sure that's lovely guys. So who wants to explain this situation to Coulson?" Melinda said, suddenly appearing behind them with her arms crossed and aviators on. "I knew something was up."

Simmons pointed at Fitz.

"I had nothing to do with this."

"Liar. I'll tell everyone you have a pet stuffed monkey," Simmons threatened.

"You what?" Skye snickered.

"Yeah," Melinda sarcastically said. "Tell that to Coulson."

"Tell me what?" Coulson asked, looking around at his team as he walked down the spiral staircase. "I'm confused. Anyone care to explain to both Melinda and I?"

"Ward did it," FitzSimmons said, pointing both fingers at Ward. "It's Ward's fault we switched bodies."

"HEY!"


End file.
